The Tree of Life
by Helga Schwarzbaum
Summary: The follow-up of my previous story. Rey and Ben now live on Ahch-to. Rey is pregnant with their twins. She has a lingering fear she might somehow lose Ben or the children - or all of them. He casts away those fears beautifully. There is one F bomb and mildly mature content.


_This story is a follow-up to the whole Episode IX: The New Order. Rey and Ben now live on Ahch-to. Rey is pregnant. There is some mature content in here. This is my first time to write an erotica piece (no pun intended), and I wanted to make it as delicate and as gentle as possible. They got pregnant under very dramatic circumstances, stealing time to absorb each other (thinking it would be their last time). Now Rey has trouble casting away the lingering fear she might lose Ben and their twins again. He casts away those fears beautifully, at least in my mind._

 _Damn it, I read that interview with Adam Driver where he says that he can't wait having children, so that he might have an excuse to stay at home, all the time. A troll he is (I think - I have trouble figuring out when he's joking and when he's serious), but he sort of inspired this fanfiction._

* * *

It didn't matter that she was a powerful Jedi. She felt like a young, first-time mother with a mounting burden of indiscernible fears and anxieties. Will I do this right? Will the delivery be safe? Will I need special medical attention? And although her pregnancy was vastly uneventful and the two sleepy seedlings (as she called them) were peaceful and comparatively tiny, she would still lay down each night with heaviness in her heart. What if something goes wrong?

She was surrounded with death for so long that the fact that she was not only herself alive, but was also harboring a new life inside her, left her deeply confounded. Rey had to remind herself that she is indeed awake; that she is alive; that this strange feeling in her swollen belly is a small ocean of life and hope; and that this man, peacefully sleeping and sometimes snoring near her was Ben Solo.

It was really all too much to take in.

And they were, in a way, an anomaly on that island – at least from Caretakers' perspective. They didn't like her to begin with, and now they were barely adjusting to the fact that she became a permanent resident. There are no Jedi scrolls that cover Jedi pregnancy, she thought with a small ironic smirk. Jedi pledged to celibacy with a good reason. Or perhaps they were just immensely practical, making profound excuses on the way.

That belly was sometimes difficult to balance and was a source of much worry to her. Will she somehow forgot she has it? Will she make a sudden move and somehow injure the babies?

The babies – Rey murmured: The little sleepy seedlings. It was the most common thing in the galaxy and one that perplexed her the most.

Their days were filled with peaceful routine, but it suited her well. First two trimesters she barely even felt the pregnancy, but as she visibly grew, so did her fear. Besides, they had to adhere to a medical protocol to enhance the healing of their wounds. They had to install a small camp and make the island more inhabitable. All these distractions did well to her, since she could slow down and just go through the protocol. The day Ben started building a cradle was the day that it suddenly dawned on her – this is real.

And by the day he was finishing the cradle, she was already 8 months in. Her back started hurting, not too much, but just enough to remind her of her state. Ben tried to kiss her and to initiate more intimate contact, but Rey would always find a convenient excuse to avoid it. It wasn't that she didn't want him – in a way, her yearning became even greater. Even his snoring she found so endearing. She was acutely aware that she lost him, and then had him back again. The wonder of that moment moved her to her core. First few months she would wake up almost every night to check if he's there and if he's alive and real. He tried to cast her fear away, calling her „his silly wife", but as soon as his tenderness would begin to pull her in, she would back out. Rey was afraid of something, and nothing, and everything – she felt that she owed the island his life and the life of their children and that desecrating this holy place with their intimacy would somehow harm everything she held dear.

That day felt particularly heavy, with the ocean air bringing again heavy, monsoon like feeling. The sunset was blazing red and spectacular, forewarning them of an imminent wind and changed weather. Rey's back hurt with nothing more than a burdening intuition. The seedlings weren't, apparently, Force sensitive. She didn't care, but in a way, she found them to be an even a greater mystery to her because they were, as she said, „sleepy". Safely tucked in her belly, completely comfortable and peaceful, but mum to her.

„Perhaps they're just not chatty"; Ben said simply and smiled, caressing her belly.

„What sort of seedling... I mean, baby, were you? ", she asked, honestly intrigued. She couldn't reach with her memories so far away into the past, and she didn't even want to anymore. The past should dwell peacefully in the past. The sense of the New Order was almost tangible in those days.

„I wasn't chatty"; he said briefly and smiled with his awkward and irresistible smile.

And it would usually end there.

But this time, she felt unusually restless, with the main reason of her anxiety impossible to pinpoint. And that uncertainty unnerved her even further. She would come out to the open and try to help him with the cradles. Then she'd be quickly annoyed by his stubborn non-inclination to accept her help. She eventually went inside and tried to clear her mind by meditating. But the whirlwind of thoughts would break her focus very quickly.

This is the reason for Jedi celibacy. The whole intimacy conundrum only makes one weaker and susceptible to all sorts of disquieting thoughts.

She opened her eyes and saw him, standing in the doorway. He observed her for some time with a hint of worry on his face.

Rey tried to be as peaceful and as simple as she could.

„The weather is heavy", she said, casting away the remaining energies of the meditation in the Force. „I feel like a very pregnant woman right now".

He smiled at her, but remained not quite reassured.

„That is impossible", he said in a mock – earnest tone. As if he remembered something, he closed the door behind him and locked them.

„What are you doing? ", she said. „It's too early. Only the Caretakers went to rest".

„I'm taking care of the Solo bunch"; he said simply and came closer to her.

„Solo bunch is very well taken care of", she replied, only slightly offended by the fact her life-promoting qualities were somehow under scrutiny. But she smiled at him brightly.

He kissed her open mouth and bit her only slightly on her lower lip.

„You're the Solo bunch too, you know", he said. „Get used to that, you silly little woman".

Rey wasn't really accustomed to the new title. She was without a family name her whole life and now suddenly she had the whole team attached to her.

„Move a bit, wifey", he said jokingly to her and sat next to her on their simple bed, embracing her waist with his arms.

„You have enough space"; she said and frowned a bit. Her back hurt.

But then he made a gentle gesture and pulled her to him.

Rey blushed.

„I can't sit on your lap", she protested. „It's hard to balance this belly as it is, without your angular knees to balance it on".

„Just come here, Rey", he said, pretending he's annoyed.

She complied and sat between his legs, which made the very tips of her ears burn.

„Lean on me", he said simply.

„My lower back hurts", Rey mumbled. „I can't".

„They won't hurt if you lean in", he quickly responded, „Just use me as a recliner, woman. It's not like I expect you to fly a light freighter, although it would come a lot easier to you, you stubborn thing".

She reluctantly obeyed. Force be with her, how much she loved him. If she could somehow lock him forever to her side, she'd be ready not to ever leave that cabin again. But she was afraid that that intensity was somehow enough to harm her, or him, or the seedlings, whom she still shunned from naming. She tensed and tried to rise to her feet under some made-up pretext. But this time, he wouldn't let her go so easily. He crossed his legs on top of hers, locking her in a tender, but firm grip.

„I have to go"; she said and blushed even more. „I... have to... meditate".

„No, you don't", he whispered simply to her temple and embraced her firmer. „You need to stop resisting me, Rey".

„I am not"; she said and half-turned. „You know I'm not".

„Don't be afraid", he replied and bit her earlobe playfully, „We're not doing anything wrong".

„I was a Jedi who slept with another Jedi and now the aforementioned Jedi is pregnant", she tried to be laid-back and humorous about it, but she shuddered. It troubled her deeply.

His eyes fixed on her with genuine care and solemnity.

„The children are fine", he said. „You were no Jedi, not in the strict sense, and neither was I. We broke no code of rule. We were free and now we're free even more".

He relaxed his grip a bit and smiled.

„Don't sweat it, silly".

Rey looked at him and the old fear came running through her heart like a dark shadow.

„I don't want to lose you", she whispered.

„You won't", he replied simply, kissed her on the neck and embraced her around her waist, rubbing her belly.

„I don't want to lose them", she added.

„You can't", he said. „They're strong and healthy. You're strong and healthy. Nothing will happen, except for a quick delivery and two healthy babies – babies, Rey – and that's all".

They had that same vision some time before. She really knew there was nothing to worry about. Every stepping stone was reached in good order.

But she was still restless.

„What are you doing? ", she asked, her whole face now burning to the boiling point.

„Shut up, woman", he said in a mock-authoritative fashion as his hand slowly glided under her tunic, caressing her naked belly.

Rey let him do it for a couple of seconds. He was gentle as he moved his hand slowly down; and for a brief moment, she felt secure and dizzy and as if she was slowly sinking into a soft and lukewarm ocean, completely protected and shut-off from the rest of the world.

But as soon as she'd reach deep relaxation and contentment in his arms, something inside her would twitch. She tried to break free again, this time with more power. But he pulled her back again both firmly and tenderly.

„Just trust me", he whispered and pulled her face up to his, kissing her slowly and deeply.

She shuddered and let go, trembling with nervousness and desire under his touch. She was a fool for loving him so much. She felt the flush of anxiety as her belly tensed in an orgasmic build-up. But as soon as she reached the pinnacle of her tension that almost made her yell in fear, it would all swiftly melt away like an impeccable ocean wave in his embrace.

„Don't go too deep"; she vocalized her last anxious thoughts. „Just... stay there".

„You mean here? ", he whispered as he caressed her womanhood in tender, circular movements.

„Don't fool with me, Ben", she uttered, breathless. „And don't let the Caretakers hear us".

„Fuck the Caretakers", he said in a deeper and hoarser voice, pressing against her intimate place more firmly.

She moaned and tried to respond but it came out broken.

„I truly hope not", she whispered to him, „This is a sacred island. And by the way, you're vulgar".

„Shut up and kiss me", he said and kissed her fiercely time and time again. „So that you don't traumatize your Caretakers and your Porgs and your Thala Sirens".

He enabled her multiple orgasms. He took away her anxiety and her tension. She reclined against him, panting, feeling overwhelmed by the heat and the vibrating tension of life between them.

„Where did you learn to do this"? She asked, half-serious.

„Telemetry", he responded jokingly.

Rey laughed and punched him lightly with her elbow.

„Do not mock me", she said and blushed again.

"I just sensed your tension", he replied simply. "It's not that complicated".

He removed the swirl of wet hair from her neck and relaxed his legs around her. As she stretched her back away from him, he kissed her gently on the protruding vertebra at the base of her neck.

"I can't do the same for you", she whispered eventually. "I am just a sluggish… Thala siren. I'm sorry".

„Don't be", he said, slightly out of breath. „I can switch it on and off according to the moment".

„Oh, really", she said, and laughed turning to him. „The Master of self-control you are, and I am the lecherous pregnant space lady".

„No", he laughed back, leaning on the wall behind him languidly. „It's just that I don't have the whole complicated infrastructure to carry around for months".

They slept peacefully against one another that night. She smiled at the sight of him snoring sometime early in the morning, but didn't wake him up. It made her feel at peace and at home.

There was a downpour of soft and untainted rain outside that night.

Rey proceeded to have a simple and swift delivery some weeks afterwards. The little ones were slight, but strong and healthy. After some discussion, they named them Han and Leia and planted two seedlings of Force trees outside their cabin to celebrate their birth.


End file.
